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My life's
work reaches out to the Heart of humanity
Through these difficult times
we face in our shifting world.
I
grew up on a farm in Southern New Hampshire.
Expressing my feelings through writing poetry and songs has come natural to me since early childhood.
In my heart I've felt that I was born to write and share my writings. And
my 51 years in an extremely difficult lifetime has given me a lot to write
about. I've written over fifty five songs,
many hundreds of poems and several publications which yearn to sprout wings.
I'm not much of a "religious" person, but I am a
spiritual person. I don't believe in blindly following man made religions, although through exploring many of them I have found tools that help me to deepen my own personal connection to Love/Light/God - The Commander*. For as long as I can remember I have felt a deep connection to Christ. And
I whole heartedly believe in the core message He came to teach us - the same message which reaches
out through the history of most religions - the message that is asking us to open
our Hearts and bring more Love into our troubled world.
And this is what my life's work is about.
Since I embarked on this path of sharing my writings with humanity I have experienced the truth in what the bible says about the darkness
using the people who are closest to
us, in order to tear us down, as we grow
close to the Light/Love/God. Actually, I have experienced
painful levels of this throughout most of my life. I have been facing unbelievable chains of challenges. This classic battle between the Light and the dark has existed, and has been written about, since the beginning of time.
On physical levels the dark often takes the form of jealousy or hatred that rages against my writings. . .sometimes aiming to tear me down and steal my power. On spiritual levels this has taken the form of negative energy being shot at me through those who allow such darkness. On the inner levels it has been a battle between the Light side and dark side of my own nature.
As I climbed into the depths of my heart and aimed to spread my wings into the Light, and then started sharing my writings and prophetic dreams, I was hit hard on every level. People began slandering me, judging me or wrongly labeling me. And I began struggling with the darker part of myself - the part that has wanted to give up on my life's work. This would have been the easy way out. And I'm glad I've not fully take that road, although, as my Light side began winning, my challenge grew into a fight for my life against those who aim to harm me and prevent my writings - my life's work. But I'm still not giving up. I have stumbled and have even fallen several times, but I keep climbing back onto this path I was born to be on, because my life's work is for all of humanity and I need to do the best I can to complete it, although I stand against nearly unbelievable odds.
The
History of My Life's Work
At about 11 years
old, I put together my first
book of poetry in the form of hand printed poems in a miniature
loose leaf notebook. Around the year 1974, some of these poems were published
in a large New Hampshire news paper. But my Dream of sharing my writings began
before that. It feels like I was born with this mission in my Soul.
In the mid to late 1980s I pulled my writings off a nine
year shelf and self published my first full book of poetry, "A
Lifetime of Feelings". I had a few copies printed, but quickly
realized that I'd left out the most important poems - the ones that
came from the hidden corners of my heart - the ones that were filled
with deep feelings and healings. So I aimed to write another book.
In 1999 I completed the
manuscript to my next book, which was entitled, "Embracing Feelings".
Though I lost the final manuscript in a fire, I did the best I could to resurrect most
of it and finally had it printed in the spring of 2003.
This book shared my process of healing from
painful experiences and encouraged others to do the same.
Parts of this book are now offered on this web site on the "Publications" page.
Since 1986, as I aimed to heal
from the pains I'd suppressed into my childhood; and then faced
the loss of my business and beautiful home in Loudon, New Hampshire,
through my own Governments "Rights of Eminent Domain";
and then experienced a tragic fire, which raged through my next
home, my heart has yearned to create a "Recovery Center" - a supportive
environment for those of us who need to heal our Hearts
from painful losses - a place where embracing feelings is the priority
- a place where art, writing and music can be used as
tools to heal our broken hearts - a place that many of us have needed and not had
through too many losses and pains.
In August
of 2003 I moved to the Nashville area, in order to explore the music
business. I took part in song writer circles - finding the courage
to drag my guitar up on stage and share some of my songs. In my
three months there, most of my songs were stolen by a person who offered
to help install a music program onto my computer! Apparently he had
installed some sort of file, which gave him access to my lap top,
even when it was not hooked up to the internet! Some foolishly thought I
should feel flattered that my "song writing is so good that other
songwriters want to steal it." But I felt violated. My songs are born from my own life's experiences. . .and are a part of me that no one else has a right to take.
A few months after this theft of my life's work, two other people stole my songs, while I visited them in Sky Valley California! Since then, one of my stolen songs has become a hit, with the thief claiming to be the writer. When I first heard it on the radio, in the spring of 2007, and realized what they'd done, I felt like they'd stolen a part of me - a part of my soul. But in my heart I know that, from a higher perspective, they have not gotten away with anything. They think they
are getting "richer" from my song, and perhaps even from some of my
other works, but I still sometimes feel better off than them, even though I
have become extremely poor on financial levels, because the spirit
of "Last Dollar" came from the depths of my heart and soul. They
stole my words and tune, in order to feed their greed. But I
still have what my song was born from - what was written between its
lines - what makes it shine. The spirit of "Last Dollar" is mine. .
.and it always will be.
"1-2-3..." was mine to "sing".
I'm the one who spread my "wings"
As I "walked right through my" worn out "shoes" -
After "the hell I'd gone through"
"Like a bird I" sang the blues
About having "nothing left to lose"
While "wondering what I'll do"
I'm the one who drove "from coast to coast"
With the Heart of everything I valued most.
I'm the one who aimed to be free
From all that had a hold on me.
I was.
In February of 2004 I began designing a bi-monthly publication called,
"The Personal Journal", which was printed and distributed through the year of 2005.
Never had I been so deeply in my Heart
as I was as I started this mission. But I struggled to continue,
while a few resentful individuals and at least one large
group of people, which seem to be involved in some sort of dark
occult, fought against the success of my life's
work. A slyly negative press release was written by Cami Jack and printed in a small Keene area news paper during this time.
As I distributed The Personal Journal, I'd aimed to use it's profits, in order to acquire a property
for the "Recovery Center". And I'd planned for this "Recovery Center" to be my
next home, as I literally put more than everything I had
into my work. But the opposite happened! I failed to accomplish what I'd aimed to do.
As a result, through most of the past 4 years I've
been homeless. . .living in my car or an old broken RV. I had taken a leap of faith and crashed.
After being slandered, by my own
biological sister in the spring of 2005, most of the little bits of
support I'd had quickly faded away! Most people had not been aware of my sister's life-long habit of letting her jealousy and hatred rip into me. Because my work was already unusual enough to raise questions, this slander, which told people I was "evil" and "insane", planted a seed that grew quickly. The people who
knew me saw the slander for what it was. But some of them
looked down upon me for having family members who behave so cruelly. This felt unfair, since I am not responsible for
other people's behaviors, no matter who they are. But the damage had already been done, and there was
nothing I could do to alter its rippling effects.
In the fall of 2005, directly after
a severe flash flood raged through the
neighborhood, I'd recently moved to, I was drugged, raped and detained for over a week
by a New Hampshire journalist who wrote for the Keene Sentinel. I still don't
know why they drugged me....if
it was to keep me from other reporters, to take pictures
of me, to prevent my
work and invade my computers and phone, to violate my body...or all of these
things. I think perhaps it was all of them. I later found out that they had gotten my password and had erased messages from my phone in the months after the Alstead flood. And the chief editor of the story about me, which came out in the Keene Sentinel, was a friend of the woman who had drugged and detained me. Needless to say, it was not an accurate article. Although the man who originally wrote it seemed to have good intentions, the editor is the one who turned it into what it was.
I have been amazed at how these types of reporters/writers/editors manipulate people with slyly suggestive words.
Since the winter of 2006/2007 there have even
been times when I've had to literally fight for my life. But my heart continues
to reach for the rays of Light that shine through the darkness that has surrounded me and my work.
In May of 2007 I regained some of my
strength after using a loan to recover from a serious physical illness and
file for bankruptcy. I produced a small, free news paper type
of publication called, "Sharon's Bud". The first issue was printed
in May of 2007. I'd hoped that the group/occult who drove against my work had given up.
But they hadn't! And I struggled to continue
against unbelievable odds. It was a miracle that the second
issue rolled off the press on September, 11th 2008.
As I began this
Portsmouth, NH issue of Sharon's Bud, the business editor, at the
Seacoast Media Group, refused
to print the part of my press release, which
spoke of my plan to use my income, in order to get back onto my feet and build
the "Recovery Center."
After I'd reluctantly removed
the statements he'd
refused to print, he even altered
what was left of my press release - preventing the
public from knowing what my
work was REALLY about. I have wondered what influenced his behaviors.
They may
Shoot it down
In the news -
Hit the Light
With black
And blues.
But it will rein
In the end -
The world will turn
To Love again
Later, as I rushed to
meet my deadline someone
continuously erased
my work from my lap top, without having physical access to it!!!
And someone broke into my truck/office during this time. Through my struggle
to save my work I never got the
peaceful time I'd needed, in order to finish the second issue of "Sharon's Bud" the
way I'd wanted to. As I distributed this
rough version of it, about 500 copies of it were stolen by a
man who claimed to be a distributor for the local
news paper companies. He approached me in a parking
lot and said he wanted to "help me distribute them." Then he
disappeared and never let me know of their distribution, as he'd said he would! Around
almost every corner I turned, there were cards
stacked against me! But I
pushed on and was able to distribute close to 11,500
copies in and around the Portsmouth, NH area,
while being almost constantly stalked. Someday,
I'd like to continue
with "Sharon's Bud" and turn it into what it was
meant to be.
I'd
hoped it would happen,
Through all they
deceive.
But sat on Earth alone
To think, write and grieve.
Then built up my confidence
As tall as it could
be,
Hoping for rest of the world
To support the Dream in me.
Humbled to core, I
was,
In rejections lashing strong,
But I still
write to sing
The Heart of
my song.
In the summer of 2009 the people who fight against
my work remain a threat. One of them - a friend of the journalist/writer who'd drugged me,
pretended to be wanting to
hire me for a painting/carpentry job so that
she could get personal info out of me - info like my social security
number, names of my children, where I grew up,
my drivers license number...etc. unfortunately, I didn't realize that she was
a part of that group until it was too late!
I had originally thought it was only this local New Hampshire group who was targeting, harassing and even becoming a threat to my life as I aimed to take off with my writings and songs. But it may also extend beyond that. . .to people who have more influence and money than what I could hold up against. . .to people who would not want me to succeed with publicly sharing my writings and songs. . .to those who have stolen them and claim them as their own.
Aside from my songs, other parts of my work have been stolen and used by various people. "The Personal Journal" had shared a healing experience I'd had in a small shack in the woods, connected to painful losses. . .and they also contained a story about an ancient woman called, "Wisdom", who was thought to be Jesus, - a woman who helped a man do some inner healing work in a place where visions became reality...etc. "The Personal Journal" also shared an experience I had with meeting my mother's spirit and hugging her and saying "I love you" and resolving our past issues within those moments of shared Love. About a year after "The Personal Journal" was shared with the public, "The Shack" was published by a person who appears to be connected to a subscriber of "The Personal Journal".
Though the deepest part of my heart feels glad that some of my songs and other writings are reaching the heart of humanity, it feels horribly wrong that the people who are profiting from them, financially, do not deserve or need it. . .and those who do continue to suffer.
I had hoped that people would see the value in my work and either join me or support me in some way. But the opposite has happened. Too many have aimed to use my work to feed their own greed or jealousy through tearing me down and/or stealing my ideas, songs...etc. All of this hurts too deep to fully describe here. I have been left in the financial ruins of their behaviors.
I know there are a ton of lessons in all of this for me. And I'm sure I'll understand more of them when the people who target me find the Heart to stop being a threat to my life and work.
But at this point I just feel like I failed at most of what I tried
to do. I feel that I didn't do a good enough job with my writings. I was too trusting of people who were not worthy of my trust. I made a lot of
mistakes in the process of trying to do my work while fighting to protect it
from those who drove against me.
I didn't have the strength and financial resources to completely withstand and
make up for the
effects of being slandered, plagiarized, stalked, harassed and attacked (even on spiritual
levels) during crucial times in my life's work. There have even been a few direct attempts to end my life in ways that would make it look natural or like an accident! A forewarning, which came to me in a dream, had lead me away from a man who seemed to have been hired to kill me in December 2008. And the last incident happened just before Christmas in 2009, in York Beach Maine where a group of people had lured me into an inexpensive "winter rental" and then emitted some sort of toxic bacteria or viral agent into my room...etc. These people seem to belong to some sort of occult, which is based out of the Rye and Portsmouth, NH area, as well as the southern coast of Maine. According to a dream I had, they have a leader whom they follow in their pursuit against me. At least one of them works in a UNH lab - a young, blond girl. Most of them seem to be from wealthy families. Some of their names and plate numbers have been recorded. Why these people want to harm me is not known. They've not yet had the courage to do anything but secretly aim to harm me. And they may be just a small part of a larger organization.
Overall, I have struggled against too many forces. But I feel in my
Heart that justice and Truth will win
in the end, even if it doesn't happen in this lifetime.
Although I
still yearn to continue my life's
work, beyond what's here on this web
site, and turn my "Recovery
Center" into a reality, I don't know if I'll
be able to accomplish it in this lifetime. And
I feel incredibly sad that my Recovery Center is not in existence for the tough times many of us will continue to face.
As for me personally. . .I have been through much more than what I mention here. And what I now need, more
than anything, is a SAFE, peaceful home
of my own to live in, and time to heal
my heart from all that has been happening. And I've reached a point where I need help from my fellow human beings. I need financial help, as quickly as possible, in order to protect myself and go to a safe place where I can take time to heal. Please search your heart to see if you can help me with this. And if you THINK this is a scam or untrue, please listen to your own heart and intuition. Your help will be deeply appreciated. If you can't help me financially, please send a prayer for me to find the peace and safety I deeply need right now.
Forgiveness
by Sharon Rose Poet
As I struggle with the effects of
these overwhelming levels of difficulties,
which I was hit with as I aimed to share
my life's work with the rest of humanity, I search my heart for
compassion. . .
I have tried to understand how people can
become so jealous that they try to tear me down, while
pretending to be kind and loving. I have tried to understand how a
father can aim to crush his own child just to cover up his
mistakes, instead of aiming to make things better. I have tried to
understand how some journalists can judge people or alter press
releases or slyly insinuate/manipulate what THEY want the public to believe, rather
than sticking to an objective Truth. I have tried to understand how
a journalist can stoop so low as to drug a person just
to keep them from other reporters, or to get photographs, or to invade their property, or
for any other reason. I have tried to understand what drives people
into dark occults, which aim to harm those of us who work at bringing more Light/Love into our troubled world. I have tried to
understand how people can carelessly violate another person's work, body or
property. I have tried to understand how members of our
own government can take a home and source of income from a
vulnerable woman and her two children and then hide and lie about
their behaviors instead of setting things right. . .and then pass her property on to one of their own family members. I have tried to understand how people can hatefully stalk, harass and harm others.
In
my mind I know it's all due to deeply wounded and blocked Hearts -
insecurities, hatred, greed, toxic shame, jealousy, fear, dark quests for
power over others...etc. But in my Heart I have felt so deeply hurt
and violated by such actions that I want to cry out louder than
ever for more Heart in our troubled world, because I'm not the only person who's experienced these sorts of things. I'm not the only person who has had songs and other writings stolen by other people's greed.
I'm not the only person who's been manipulated, stalked or
violated by the members of our media who chose to behave in ways that
are intrusive, inconsiderate and greedy. I'm not the only
person who's had a home and business rudely taken by the
government's "right of eminent domain." I'm not the only person
who's felt the excruciating pain of a severe lack of Love from
family members who feed jealousy's hatred. And I'm not the only person who's been targeted by a
dark occult. But where does it end? When does the dark stop becoming
darker and start finding the Heart to turn to the Light?
As I search my own heart for compassion and forgiveness for
the people who have hurt my work and I so deeply, I See that we all
carry our own different types of woundedness and that we all come
into this world with our own sets of lessons to learn and develope our own sets of issues to
overcome. . .and have pains that need healing. Some of us become so severely wounded in our
childhoods that we completely block our Hearts and aim to
harm others, instead of chosing to heal from it. Some of us let greed control our actions - greed for money or recognition or power or control over others. But I also understand that
we ALL have
the choice to either face and heal our own personal issues or to hurt
other people with them. And we are all responsible for our
own choices and behaviors. There really isn't any good excuse for harmful
behaviors. Some foolishly think that "if God allows it its supposed to happen." But in my heart I can feel that this is not so. God gave us free will and we are responsible for our own behaviors and we accumulate dark karma when we harm each other. This, I am sure of.
In my heart, I don't want to judge anyone.
But its hard to completely forgive people who choose to continue
behaving in ways, which are harmful to me. Its REALLY hard. Sometimes I
still feel angry about the ways I've been treated. And I still feel
deeply hurt. But I want to heal from it. I want to reach a point of forgiving more completely.
And I'm sure I will, in time. Until then, I pray that those who
let themselves be controlled by the darkness of greed, jealousy,
hate or quests for power over me, find the Heart to alter their
harmful behaviors for their own sakes as well as mine. Please stop.
We need more kindness in our world.
Dear God
by Sharon Rose
Poet
Yes, I hear the dreams You speak.
But
I need more help. I'm still weak.
I gave my all to learn and
See-
Relieved to have You here for me.
But let me rest
moment, please,
Inside the Love You have for me;
Let me
gain the strength I need
To patch these holes where I still bleed.
Please.
* "The Commander" is what I sometimes call God/Light/Love, because this is the force that I chose to command my life. I may stumble. I may fall from time to time. But Light and Love are my choice. And please remember that,
Just because you can't see it doesn't mean its not there.
Copyrighted by Sharon
Rose Poet, with all rights reserved
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