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Articles
by Sharon Rose Poet
(Last updated in October, 2009)
As we face rising economical difficulties and intensifying natural disasters many of us are learning how to live with less. Some are cutting back on spending. Some are completely losing jobs and homes. Many are struggling between these two extremes. And we are all being called to open our Hearts to deeper levels than ever before.
Come. Walk with me, into my Heart and yours -
Into the places we usually avoid, as we rush through our busy lives
In a world that's crying, louder than ever, for us to slow down, be still,
Embrace our own Hearts with one hand, and hold the other out
To our fellow human beings. . .
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reserved.
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The Reforming
by Sharon Rose Poet
Many of us wonder why natural disasters are suddenly happening more frequently. There are theories about "normal Earth changes" and "global warming" and "the Earth tilting on its axis" and even "the world coming to an end." And I feel that there is SOME Truth in most theories - that there are multiple levels of reasons for these sudden shifts in our climate. But no matter how it's perceived or what it's called, it is obvious that these disasters are "Reforming" our ways of being, thinking, feeling and living. When I step back and look at the bigger picture - at the dark, destructive levels of greed, selfishness and hate that's been growing in humanity, I can understand why the reforming is happening. It appears that our world is being shaken to its core...in an effort to wake us up and alter the course we've foolishly chosen. Perhaps the "Reforming" is offering us an opportunity to acquire deeper levels of love for our fellow human beings. Perhaps the Reforming will give us the opportunity to learn deeper levels of what really matters most. . .and that it is how much Heart we have to share with others, rather than how much money, property and THINGS we own.
Looking
Back
by Sharon Rose Poet
After disaster
strikes and people think the most difficult part is over,
It's often just beginning, for those who
were hit hardest.
Shock often settles into disaster victims, sometimes even for years after the event! When most people think it's time for us to square our shoulders and move on, the time is often just beginning for deeper feelings of grief to start surfacing. And instead of allowing a healthy grieving process, we tend to suppress it and struggle to "move on" or "put it behind us" before we are fully ready to. Many of us think that if we don't look back at what happened, and if we suppress our sadness, the pain will go away. But avoiding it doesn't make it go away. It merely stuffs it into our future, weighs us down and blocks our Hearts until we finally allow ourselves to look back, face it, embrace it and release it. So, let's not push ourselves or others to avoid talking about or feeling sadness associated with painful losses or devastating disasters. Lets not rush to glue back together what's still oozing with unshed tears. Let's support a more healthy process of grieving, so that we can heal from our painful experiences. Lets embrace each others tears until the sadness is released and peace takes its place.
Crying is like giving the Heart a
shower
To wash away accumulated
dirt.
Personalized
Disaster Relief
by
Sharon Rose Poet
If natural disasters continue intensifying, and our economy worsens, we may reach a point where their is not enough government help for disaster victims. And it will be up to us, as individuals to open our hearts and do more to help each other. Since the volunteer work I did with Katrina victims, as well as my own direct experiences with disasters, I have felt saddened by the lack of REAL, UNCOMPLICATED help that victims receive from agencies who seem to spend so many millions of dollars paying employees and expenses for volunteers that not much is left for the actual victim's needs. I know it's easier to just write out a check for someone else to help victims with. But the Truth is that, in many cases, this is not helping very much, if at all. If you have a large amount of money to offer, you could spend less and help a lot more people if you hire someone to find the individuals and families who are in deepest need, and then give directly to them. This way, you can fully help dozens of people with the same amount of money that would trickle down to temporarily help just one person, through other avenues. Please think about this. And remember that the kind of help that is often needed more than anything else is in giving disaster victims a safe, healthy place to live and time to recover. Due to some prophetic dreams I've had, I feel certain that there are more natural disasters coming. And increasing numbers of people will be in need of help on every level.
Lets let our help do the best it can do
True Giving
by
Sharon Rose Poet
True Giving is a magical thing. When a person offers to help, and the offer is genuinely from their Heart and has no strings attached, it touches other Hearts in a wonderful way - in a way that makes us want to let it in and pass it on. When I find room in my Heart to Truly
Give, I feel as if I've received a special gift. What they say is True. . ."giving IS receiving." But unfortunately, most of what we call, "giving" is not REAL Giving. And I have a hard time receiving when I know a person is offering help out of reluctant obligation or just to LOOK good to others...etc. Through the past couple decades, as I hit one crisis after another, I rarely witnessed True giving in the people around me. I don't want to hurt or insult anyone. But I feel a need to shed Light on this issue for all of us. Most of us have more to learn about TRUE Giving. And our shifting world is offering us opportunities to do so.
After too many experiences of conditional or unhealthy "giving" from others, during times of crisis and deep need, I began to take a look in the mirror, and asked myself if I HONESTLY know how to Give. And I didn't like the answer. I saw that there have been times when I've helped people so that they'd see that I was a good person or so that I could feel less guilty about having more than them. Though there have been times when I Truly Give, there have also been times when I've done it reluctantly or wanted recognition for it. And I See this same situation in many other people who THINK they are real Givers. And I must ad that I find it amazing - the excuses some of us use, in order to feel better about not helping those in need. We convince ourselves that, "its their choice to struggle" or "their fault that they lost their job" or "their karma...etc."But the REAL Truth is that, no matter what the situation is, those of us who struggle and suffer just haven't gotten the type of help we need. Some need money Some need rehab. Some need healthy jobs. Some need time to heal. Many need SAFE, HEALTHY places to live. We All need Love, understanding and kindness. There are no valid excuses for not helping our fellow human beings, in the ways that mare needed, ESPECIALLY when help is asked for.
In an old Native American tradition, it's required that we never let anyone know what we've done to help another person. This is to keep our egos out of it and keep our Hearts into it.
I feel that most of us can learn something from this sort of tradition. I know I can.
When we feel like we don't
Get enough for what we give,
We haven't given anything.
The Hidden Epidemic
by Sharon Rose
Poet
As our world staggers into multiple
difficulties, we are being
Pushed
into experiencing deeper levels of our own Hearts.
Though most of us have heard about how it's OK to cry, we don't seem to fully realize how incredibly important it is for us to actually let it happen, when we feel a need to. We close our Hearts, in order to avoid feeling emotional pain. Yet, this closing of our hearts, no matter how much or how little, is causing even more pain, because crying is what washes the pain out of our hearts. What I call, the "Hidden Epidemic", grows and spreads each time we suppress our sadness and push others to do the same. The Hidden Epidemic is an emotional illness. I know this may sound a bit strange to some of you. But if you read the rest of this, and listen to the Wisdom in your own Heart, I m sure you ll feel some Truth in what I m saying.
Some say that sadness is "negative" or "depressing". Some go so far as to say that it's "un-spiritual" or "dark" to feel, release or express sadness! Some even think that all we need to do is use our minds and just "choose joy instead!" Yet, my experiences show me that this avoidence of our Hearts and suppression of our sadness is THE very thing that actually CREATES the "negative" stuff in our world; and that allowing ourselves to fully feel our sadness, so that our pain can be released, is what opens our Hearts to deeper levels of Love, Joy and Peace.
We suppress our sadness, because feeling it can be uncomfortable and sometimes overwhelming, especially when it's not supported by the people around us. But even in the most supportive environments, it's difficult to completely embrace grief. Suppression is the easiest route to take, but certainly NOT the healthy one. Most of us were taught, from the day we were born, to stuff down our feelings of sadness; to "get over it", to pretend it's not there, and "put it behind us" as quickly as possible. Consequently, most of us are very good at suppressing tears instead of letting them flow. We tend to even feel ashamed to go out in public after we've let ourselves deeply cry, because we don't want people to know we've been crying. We act as if crying is doing something wrong or shameful! We waste a lot of energy trying to avoid feeling anything but shallow imitations of joy. We stuff down our sadness with overdoses of caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, food, drugs, TV, sleeping, thinking, working...etc. We tend to keep ourselves so busy and so distracted that there's no time to feel anything! And we often try to stop others from feeling their feelings, because their sadness triggers ours. And on and on and on the cycle goes. I feel 100% certain that deeper levels of crying is an absolute necessity for the health of our Hearts, our families, our communities, our countries, our world.
The disasters and losses I've experienced, in the past decade, along with a few spiritual experiences, have lead me to a deep knowing that what I callthe "Hidden Epidemic", is the widest spread, most dangerous epidemic in humanity. No joke! You may think I'm catastrophizing here. But I'm not. The more we hide our sadness and push others to do the same, the more we spread the closing of our Hearts, which creates serious problems in ALL levels of our world. And we are all spreading this "Epidemic" to some degree. I feel that humanity is at a serious crisis point with this issue. Please think about this. . .
Suppressing sadness (closing our Hearts) is the root cause of ALL the problems we face, on both personal and global levels. When we've suppressed extremely large doses, it depresses us, makes us ill or becomes anger that yearns to strike out. On the larger scales. . .the severe suppression of sadness, causes Hearts to become so blocked that they begin filling up with deep levels of greed, warped senses of spirituality, uncontrolled anger, and thirst for power over others, all of which is THE root cause of the destructive wars we experience, on EVERY level, between family members, religions, cultures, and countries. On the smaller scales. . .suppressing our feelings of sadness causes our Hearts to start blocking to the point where what we value most starts shifting toward money and obtaining possessions. We start losing our ability to feel compassion toward our fellow beings. Depression often creeps in. Our ability to feel genuine Peace, Joy and Love diminishes. And our connection to the deeper, wiser parts of our Selves and to the Highest Powers, becomes more and more blocked. Is any of this sounding familiar to you? It does to me! This sounds painfully familiar! When I look at my life and out into the rest of the world, I See this so much that it scares me. There have been times when I've literally cried for all of us.
Sadness is not depressing!
It's the suppression of it that depresses us.
I find strength and Love in my tears.
I find weakness and depression
In my avoidance of them.
Now, I'm not suggesting that we walk around trying to cry all the time. But I AM saying that we should work at letting our tears freely flow, when we feel the need to, rather than trying to stuff them back down. And I'm praying for ALL of us to take a deeper look at the damaging effects of the "NO crying allowed" messages, which we pass on to our loved ones. I cringe every time I hear the popular Christmas song, which we STILL play for our children, "You better be good. . .you better not cry. . .I'm telling you why. . .Santa Clause is coming to town..."!!! I'm sure that we would NOT even think of playing songs like this for our children, if we KNEW how damaging it can be to them. Sometimes, when I hear this song, I sing along and loudly change the words to, "You'd better cry", because our Heart's need their natural cleansing process to happen far more than we allow it. This "Hidden Epidemic" needs to be healed, in order for us to start healing our world, ESPECIALLY through the tough times we now face. It's OK to cry. It is! It really is.
Crying is like giving the Heart a shower
To wash away accumulated dirt.
In my vision of a world that's on it's way to being healed, it would be as OK to walk down a street crying as it is to do it smiling. When we freely allow our tears to wash the pain out of our Hearts, our Hearts will open to increasingly deeper levels of Love. When our Hearts are more open to Love, compassion grows, and greed and anger diminish. When there is more Love in our world there'll be more acceptance of the differences in other people, cultures, religions and countries. This will prevent harmful behaviors and wars, on ALL levels
When our Hearts fully open there'll be no reason to
Cause harm or yearn for Love that's not there.
Lonely Place
by Sharon Rose Poet
Deep inside most Hearts
Exists a lonely place,
Where sadness hides
And silent yearnings for Love
Long to be embraced.
This is the place
We need to reach -
The depths,
Where Hearts
Have much to teach.
But, do we dare
Reach inside
For sadness
That's learned to hide?
Do we dare
Fully embrace
The tears that long
To wash our face?
Do we dare
Let go of pain
So Love can find
It's place again?
Perhaps we must.
Tears
by Sharon Rose Poet
Tears reflect Joy, Sadness,
Love and Inspiration.
Each of these Feelings
Can bring Tears to our eyes.
And are connected,
Deep inside our Hearts,
In some magical way.
When freedom denies,
Just a part of one,
The others weaken.
Start Your Own Support Group
Emotional support is the sort of
help that is not often offered to, or utilized by,
disaster victims. Yet, most of us could use it. And anyone can
start a group. So here are some basic guidelines, if you are
interested in starting one. .
Support Group Guidelines
by Sharon Rose Poet
1. Each member
must join with deep levels of integrity
(Just ONE disrespectful act or
comment can make the whole group feel
uncomfortable)
2. Make a firm
commitment to at least 11 weeks of meetings
(This
will allow time to iron out the wrinkles, and then embracing
feelings...)3. Keep the door
open to new members
(This keeps it evolving and
growing)
4. Treat each
other with utmost respect
(It is crucial to NOT sexually
approach anyone who is in shock or grief.)br>
5. Remain
consistent with times and dates
(This is important because after a
sudden disaster, we need stability and
security.)
6. Pass
leadership around, so that no one has complete control of the
group
(This helps prevent the group from
creeping into dysfunctional patterns.)
7. Begin each
meeting with some sort of prayer
(or a
wish for Healing in your Hearts)
8. Take turns
sharing - with only one person talking at a time
(
Perhaps use a "Talking Stick" )
9. Practice
strict levels of confidentiality
(Do not
repeat what other members share unless they give their
permission.)
10. Encourage talking about losses and
painful experiences
(This is what support groups are for.
)
11. Focus
on fully listening to each individual who speaks
(So
that each individual feels heard and cared for)
12. Absolutely
NO advising, unless it is specifically asked for
(This
is important)
13. Practice the
deepest possible levels of compassion
(Try to
empathize with each person who shares)
14. Embrace and
encourage ALL feelings
(Anger, fear, sadness, joy..., as long as
anger is not expressed in hurtful ways)
15. Add any
other guidelines or rituals that your group agrees upon
(be
open to changes and the needs of every member)
16. End each meeting
with a group hug.
Please keep in
mind that disasters trigger feelings which have been long
suppressed,
so its natural to be
suddenly facing childhood trauma or past losses along with the
present situation. Embrace it ALL so that
healing can happen
Humanity's Family
by Sharon Rose Poet
When I look at our troubled world, it appears that the only way we are going to fully heal it is to bring more Love and stability into its foundation - into the places where humanity learns morals, values and compassion - into our families. Within our families we look for the kind of Love that would never aim to hurt us, hold us back, or put us down. With in our families we look for comfort during times of grief, and support in the process of becoming the wonderfully unique individuals we all are. We need our families to be our places of refuge - our safe sanctuaries. Families can't be perfect. But we need them to be mostly safe, kind and supportive, in order for us to grow into healthy adults. Its sad that too many of our families seem to be lacking the depths of these virtues. And I feel certain that there are far more secretly troubled families than most of us realize, in EVERY class of society. Perhaps many of us do not even know how wounded our own families are. Denial is a powerful thing! And within many families there seems to be a silent rule which says, "it's not OK to face or talk about the damaging things that happen to us within our families." Protecting the reputation or appearance of the family is often more important than being honest and healthy. And this can be extremely damaging, even in the mildest situations.
We need to be able to freely express what has hurt us. We need to be able to freely share our feelings and painful experiences. We need to break the silence and embrace our pain, without people looking down upon us or our families for it. And we need to do this without our families labeling us as, "negative", "delusional" or "insane" just because they don't want to face their own mistakes. It needs to be OK for us to feel and express our feelings, no matter who's involved. But none of this is about judging our families. Its about striving to make things better - its about healing - its about bringing more Love into our world.
Through my efforts to try to understand why my own parents treated me as badly as they sometimes did, I grew to realize that, within each of their hearts was a wounded child who needed an outlet for the pain they'd carried into their adult lives. My parents must have had extremely painful childhoods. And perhaps they passed on what they were taught, without even realizing the damaging effects. The people who hurt us, without intending to, deserve as much compassion as we do. We are all learning and growing in this troubled world. And This is why its so important for us to face what we feel hurt by, even if it breaks some dysfunctional rules, because this what will help it to improve.
We often keep the skeletons tucked in our closets, because we want to remain loyal to our family members, or because we are ashamed of their behaviors. Our own shame seems to keep us silent more than anything else. None of us want to be looked down upon or judged by our fellow human beings or family members. As I share parts of my childhood in my writings I sometimes feel afraid that people will judge me or think less of me because of the problems within my family, even though EVERY family has its own share of problems, and even though I know that those who leap to point fingers and pass judgment are the ones who have the biggest problems. NO family is perfect. So, I work at putting my own shame and fear aside, because, from a much higher perspective, all the pains I'd gone through in my childhood brought me to this point where I share my feelings with others and hope to help our future become a safer place for children to grow up in. I wrote the following poem. "Child I Used to Be" in the late 1980s, as I did some deep "inner child" work - as I faced parts of my childhood, which I'd previously forgotten and suppressed.
When we stop hiding and denying it, we start healing it.
Child I Used To Be
by Sharon Rose Poet
On a lonely summer day I sat at the forest's edge
Feeling the impact of life's hard lessons,
When she came to me, a mere child of three,
In soiled, worn-out clothes and hair of honey gold.
I stared at her in wonder - taking in all I could see,
Realizing that she was. . .the child I used to be.
I thought my eyes deceived until she began to speak -
Glaring at me with big brown eyes, as tears ran down her cheek,
"You spend your life searching but don't remember and see,
That I have been here waiting for you to return to me.
You ran away and forgot the great plans we had for you -
The joyful games we'd play and magical things we'd do."
She sat on the ground rubbing her cold, bare feet
Crying, "You didn't take me with you
To the people we were to meet!
You forgot the castles we were to build in the sand,
And not once did you try to hold my little hand!"
She bowed her head, declaring with a sigh,
"And worst of all, you forgot how to laugh and cry!"
My heart filled with sadness. I knew she was right.
I'd left her to grope alone on a cold and dreary night.
In over twenty years did not return or ever even try
To find the child I cast away. . .for the pain I hid inside.
I reached for her shaking hand and asked if she'd forgive,
While making a sincere promise that together we would live.
She climbed into my lap, where we held each other and cried
Until joy was what was left of the pain we felt inside.
What we value most can become Heart
When everything we own is being torn apart.
Copyright by Sharon Rose Poet with all rights reserved
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